About a month ago, I had to have a very sad day for myself. See, my middle daughter, Alissa left home in January. She finished high school and moved back to Oklahoma to live with her dad so she can prepare to attend college in a few months at OSU. I meet her dad half way and dropped off Alissa and all her belongings.
Being that this is my second daughter to go off to college, I am sure you are thinking I should be used to this. NO I AM NOT! Letting go was the most horrible thing ever. I felt like my heart was ripped out. So many people tell me to be happy and proud. She is such an amazing young woman. I know she will make a huge difference in the world. But, she is my little Princess and I want her back. When I got back home from dropping her off, it seemed so empty with all her stuff gone. So I just took the day off the next day and decided to be sad and miss her. Sometimes icky, sad things happen to us. It is ok to take a small amount of time to deal with it and reflect upon what has happened.
I would love to relate this to some way we can learn how to be positive from this. I can’t. All I am positive about is I hate my children growing up and leaving home. BUT, I can tell you one lesson that comes from this.
All my life, I heard adults say, “Time flies.” I always thought that was stupid. Time is the same. It doesn’t go faster or slower. When you have small children, you think you have a life time. Some days you feel like it will last an eternity. When Alissa moved in with me in August, it was cramped in our small two bedroom apt. She drove me crazy daily by leaving messes everywhere, especially makeup all over the bathroom counter every single morning. Every day, she was crazy busy with school. We had one vehicle so we were constantly caught up in organizing things so she could do what she wanted and use the car. I was so happy that she was here and really wanted to make the time I had with her very special. But it was crazy. We butted heads several times. Now 4 months later, I don’t know how it went by so quickly. Time really did fly. 18 years with my Princess was not nearly long enough. I would give anything for her to come back and make a huge mess all over the bathroom counter.
Soooo, my lesson in all of this for you is….. Cherish each and every day. We get caught up in daily activities, getting aggravated by messes, being angry at something someone did, and generally just trying to keep our head above water with daily living. It may seem like you have a long long time with those you love. This is especially true if you have children and they are small. You may think you have forever. You may think that the saying “Time Flies” is stupid. I promise one day, you too will be sitting in your house with your child’s belongings all gone and you will wonder where the time went. I know I did my best to be a good mommy, make the most of the time I had with Alissa, and make wonderful memories. It just wasn’t enough time. 18 years isn’t enough.
A little side note: This does not only apply to children and college. My Aunt and Uncle had a very nice long marriage. One day, my Aunt came home to find her husband passed on from an aneurism. I am sure she thought she had a lifetime with him. But suddenly one day, it was all taken away. My step brother was a wonderful young man who was killed in a car accident one week before his high school graduation. His mother, brother and all of us thought we had a very long long time with him. But suddenly we did not. I am sure we all have stories like that or you know someone that does.
My point is to remind you…. None of us is promised a tomorrow. Cherish every moment. Hug your kids, spend time with them, love them! Spend every moment you can with your spouse/significant other, family and those you love. Don’t wait for the perfect timing to start doing what you want with those you love. Life is short. Time Flies. Make the most of it.